here in my head

You’ve been in my dreams lately. You’ve grown from two lines on a stick, to waving at me via ultrasound, and yet you’re still just a dream. I’ve seen your face, your tiny thumb in your mouth. I long for you to be real. I can’t tell you how my heart soars when I’m dreaming of you, and how it sinks when I wake up and I realize that no, you’re not yet true, except in my head and my heart. How bittersweet it is to wake feeling both disappointment and hope. I have to believe these dreams will, someday, be reality. That you will really come to us when the time is right. Even if I want to make that time now, I will try to be patient. I will try to trust. I will continue to hope, each month, that this is the time you decide to make your way to me. And until you do, I’ll keep looking for you when I close my eyes.